gareth bouch :: stuff & things

And whilst the cars continue to disappoint, the bikes at least do not…
Which reminds me – congrats – BIG congrats – to Leon Camier on taking the BSB title at the weekend.
Awesome job, kong and well-deserved :-)

The most entertaining thing about the weekend’s F1 race in Singapore?
Without a doubt, Bernie Ecclestone avoiding Jake Humphrey’s questions on BBC by pretending to be a dribbling imbecile.
Whilst Jake (who I must admit I’m warming to) actually had the dangly bits to ask some serious full-on questions to Bernie (unlike the lamentable Eddie Jordan who simply stood next to him like a grinning idiot version of Peter Griffin’s dad off Family Guy) F1′s elder-eldest statesman simply disintegrated into chewing his lips off, glancing around like he didn’t know where he was, and simply repeating the questions and random words back at him; presumably in a desperate effort to try and confuse the interviewer.

Pathetic.

As was the race. Dull as ditchwater.

The thing is that it’s absolutely unforgivable that the race should be boring, and certainly that it should be boring to watch. They spend kazillions of trillions of billions of dollars making it happen – and starting work on next year’s track before this year’s race has even happened and all those kind of ludicrous statistics. Buzzing city. Blazing lights. Blah blah, bleedin’ blah… What does it look like to the millions who’ve tuned in to watch it around the world (and probably from other worlds according to the PR hyperbole)…?
It looks like a flat dirty sidestreet surrounded by concrete walls and mile-high fencing.
Astonishing.
All that money, all that effort, all that time and preparation, and it looks like somewhere very grubby between Brixton and Loughborough Junction. Shameful.
Marginally less impressive than the Streatham Raceway. Which is where it should be relocated to in F1′s budget-cutting moves. Nobody would notice the difference.

“In a lot of ways, you’re just throwing a house party with Windows 7 as an honored guest…”
In a lot of ways, you’re clearly mental…

& in a lot of ways, this is very very funny. Kind of creepy too though, as it appears to be some kind of portal into a parallel universe where everybody’s a bad actor. And everybody’s on crack.

Still, worth sharing for sheer *WTF* value.

(*Nabbed from The Guardian…)

Australia has been engulfed by dust storms as wild winds sweep millions of tonnes of red dust from continent’s drought-ravaged interior and dump it on the coast…

Storms of red dust produced a supernaturally orange and glowing sky over much of Australia’s east coast as the country experienced a day of freak weather conditions.
At Sydney airport, where visibility was cut to 400 metres, flights were cancelled while several international flights were diverted to Melbourne, where flights were also delayed. Flights were also delayed at Brisbane airport in Queensland.

As dust ravaged the east coast last night, heavy rains lashed Adelaide in the nation’s south where streets were flooded.
Then as morning dawned, two tremors shook Melbourne. Later in the day, hail stones as big as cricket balls pelted parts of New South Wales where heavy rainfalls are now expected and flash-flood warnings have been issued.

The Bureau of Meteorology said it was the worst dust storm since the 1940s, with particle pollution up to 10 times worse than the previous record and was predicting another storm would hit in the next day or two.

“The World Motor Sport Council concludes that Mr. Alonso was not in any way involved in Renault F1′s breach of the regulations.”
FIA statement, 22_09_09

“Alonso clearly cheated”
Eddie Jordan, on ‘PM’, Radio 4, 22_09_09

Now when I compare those two statements – and bear in mind that Eddie Jordan’s was a reaction to the FIA statement and ruling – I’m left with the distinct impression that surely Fernando Alonso could make a tidy few quid by ringing his lawyers right now.
Jordan has been an utter pillock on the BBC coverage this year – one of the few truly awful things about the BBC’s basically decent F1 product – but by any standards this is surely a total clanger.

The context in which he made it was that he was saying that Frank Williams should still be angry because his driver came second in the 2008 Singapore GP (which Alonso won, and which was the race that “Crashgate” / Nelsongate” etc revolves around)…
Now saying that Alonso’s first place might be sullied by the fact the scandal surrounding the machinations of Briatore, Symonds and Piquet Jnr is one thing – but it is a very very different matter indeed to maintain that “Alonso clearly cheated”, especially when the FIA (mad and inconsistent bunch of freaks that they are) have just exonerated him 100% in the matter a mere 2 or 3 hours earlier.

To me it’s just another sign that Jordan should shut the hell up and go away for good. (Unless of course he actually meant to say anything remotely like what blurted out of his mouth…? In which case he should be telling us exactly *how* Alonso clearly cheated, surely – or presenting his evidence to the FIA…?)
But it’d be hellish funny to see Alonso’s lawyers take him to the cleaners on the way.

If you think I’ve misheard something that patently would be too ridiculous to say then check out the programme on the BBC’s iPlayer here at about 38 mins 20 secs in…